In September of 2012, I moved my writing home to a new space titled Fostering Love at Home. I'd love for you to join me there!
Mine is. Right now, Michael and I have several things up in the air…We will soon know many things that will help us make decisions as to how to continue in our adoption journey. But, it feels so distant and in the future.
My heart is heavy.
I have such a strong desire to be a mother and impart life. I have such a strong desire to welcome a child (or children) into our home and give them love. I have such a strong desire to be obedient to the calling I feel God has placed on my heart to parent.
But, for now…I am waiting. I am anxiously waiting. I am painfully waiting.
Some days, it hurts so badly. Knowing that children are all around the world dying each day from starvation or preventable diseases (26,000 die daily) and knowing that we want to feed them and give them a home and teach them about Jesus.
We have a sense of urgency! But yet…we have to wait just a little bit longer for God’s timing and will to come…
So, what I am going to do?
I am going to cast my cares on the Lord, because He cares for me (1 Peter 5:7). I am going to rest (Matthew 11:28) in the hands of my Lord. He alone can satisfy me! He only has the plans for my life, plans for good (Jeremiah 29:11)!
I will just continue to trust in Him and be patiently awaiting the opportunity to share His love and raise little ones in His name.
Many days I need to cast my cares over to Him by the hour, by the minute even! It is definitely a process. But, I know that one day, one day I will see the plans that He has for me come to life! And oh how I want that day to come!
Is your heart heavy? Try laying your burden on Him!
Wow, Ashley, thanks for sharing your heart! I am sorry for the ache you feel in your heart. I am in awe of your transparency. I will be lifting you up in prayer. You are so on the right track, continually casting your burdens. I will pray you do not grow weary in your battle to keep your peace and trust your God!
I'm praying for you, sister. Ps. 37:3-7
Thank you both for your prayers!
And, MamaAngie, thank you so much for the verse reference! It is verses like that that keep me trusting and waiting in the Lord!
-Ashley
[...] Some days I feel the hurt more than others. On those days, the past week (and really couple of months, if I’m being honest), I cling to the One in whom I can hope in. I cling to the One I trust. I cling to the One who has plans for me. [...]
[...] I have openly shared about our journey through infertility. And now about our journey towards adoption. I shared about how lately, it has been difficult. I’ve want to give up. I’ve had a heavy heart. [...]