I found this post sitting in my drafts from the end of April. Less than a week before we got the phone call that changed our life.
As I sit and wait for a phone call, I want my future self to remember a few things…
Hey there…you, the one who has had a hard day and just doesn’t know what to do–
Make some Tension Tamer tea, take a bath, and finish this letter.
I know today was hard. I’m sure you remember thinking it would be hard, grafting older children into your family, but it seems a lot hard than you thought, right? Especially after today?
Even still, here are some things you MUST remember:
This whole journey, including today, is part of God’s plan. He hasn’t brought these children into your life and left you to take care of them yourself. Please stop trying to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Cast your cares, fears, short-comings, and dreams over to God. He has all of this under control. You don’t have to try so hard.
This journey of adoption was God’s plan for you. He took you on the journey of infertility so that He could bring you to this journey with these children today. He has brought you and these children together for a reason, to form a family. You were created for each other for such a time as this. This is what the Lord has equipped you for and lead you to.
Motherhood is hard. Then think about adoptive mothering. There are going to be hard days like today. But, soak in your bath, go to bed a little early and wake up to a new day. Leave today behind and start new.
p.s. You can’t do any of this in your own strength, you must rely on the Giver of all good and perfect things to strengthen you and carry you through.