Adoption :: Putting God First Place

The Most Overwheming Wonderful Week of My Life

By Ashley Wells, on April 28th, 2012

On Tuesday, my life changed (maybe forever).

We finally got our phone call for a placement! Then, about an hour and a half later, I went to pick up four children. Our children, at least for now.

It’s been exhilarating. It’s been overwhelming. It’s been joyous. It’s been exhausting (My record for number of hours of sleep in a row was about 90 minutes until this morning).

Every moment, I am more and more thankful for God’s grace for each day and His strength that has sustained us. It truly is a miracle.

**Here are some specifics (although I can’t share much):**

We have four children aged 3 weeks old through 8 years old. Two boys and two girls.

By the way, we said we would be willing to take up to four children aged 8 and under, and that is exactly what we have.

We are adjusting as well to be expected. But, we would love prayers as the older children are starting to realize that this is a more long term home than they thought, and more than they were told by relatives.

We are learning (often times through trail and error) about being a parent, as many new parents do. I am so thankful for all the opportunities the Lord gave me to prepare me for this exact moment.

We are amazed at how fast you can really love a child, even if there is no biological connection. It truly has been remarkable to see our love grow and grow in leaps and bounds for these precious children that the Lord has brought into our home.

We have no idea how long the children will be with us. We are praying for God’s good and perfect will, whether that be returning to a parent, or other biological relative, or the potential that they could stay with us. Prayers for this would be extremely helpful, especially for God’s grace and peace on Michael and I if they were to leave.

For Everything a Season

Right now, these children are a great priority in my life (as any child should be, whether biological or not). I don’t know what their life has looked like. However, I know what I can do right now, today.

I can give these children all I have and rely on the Lord to fill me up again.

I can be present with them each day.

I can love these children as best I can.

I can care for them daily with love.

I can pray for them.

I can attempt to show them the great, deep, wide love of Christ.

What may not fit on this list, is blogging, at least for a season.

These children need me. I cannot miss these opportunities to be a blessing to them, I don’t know how long they will be here and I want to make as big of an impact as I possibly can.

A Moment in Time :: April 22nd at 9:17 pm

By Ashley Wells, on April 23rd, 2012

Note: This is one way that I am working on my goal to Be Present this year. Taking in moments in time. Recording them. Savoring them. Enjoying them!

I am standing at the sink tackling the pile of dishes before me. The washer is spinning, I hear it going round and round.

We had children spend the weekend with us. I am doing dishes and laundry for five. The pile of dishes was overwhelming, but yet I am going through them quickly. I guess when you dream of having children in your home for so long, it seems different than just doing dishes. It’s doing dishes for children.

I’m sure the newness will eventually wear off. The excitement of doing all these extra dishes won’t be so exciting one day.

But yet, I dreamed of this. And it has been wonderful. Not perfect. But still good.

I scrub the plates and think about how the atmosphere of our home has changed, at least for the weekend.

There was a lot more laughter. A lot more energy. A lot more time outside. A lot more life.

I’m smiling big. A few tears start trickling down my cheeks. I feel so blessed. At the beginning of the week I had been tearful about the lack of progress in our adoption. Now on Sunday I am tearful about how the Lord has answered my prayers and blessed me more than I could imagine.

I think about tomorrow. Unfortunately, these children are only spending the weekend with us. We were just simply providing respite care for them. Tomorrow I will have to say goodbye.

I know it will be sad. I’m sure I will cry. But yet, I know that there is hope. Any day we could get a phone call about our children. I pray and hope that the Lord brings that phone call soon.

Until then, I smile and do the dishes today. I switch the laundry to the dryer. I check on the kids to make sure they all went to sleep. And I pray that same prayer I have prayed for many months, “Lord, bring our children home soon.”

I Dream of Being Together

By Ashley Wells, on April 20th, 2012

I love this weekly feature from The Gypsy Mama. For five minutes we write, unscripted, unedited. We just write. Then we link up and build community! Today’s topic is Together.

Go.

I woke up very early this morning (at least according to my standards!). I had an overwhelming sense to pray for my children.

You see, I’ve written about them before. Even in five minutes!

But, here’s the thing. I don’t know them. I don’t know their faces. I don’t know how old they are.

We are still waiting to meet our children. The timing of adoption is generally so unknown.

Thankfully our waiting is hopefully coming to an end. At this point, our children could come home any day. That means it could be tomorrow or in three months. We just don’t know.

For right now, I dream. I dream of the day that we will finally be together. The day I will finally be able to hug them and tuck them in at night.

I hope and pray that we are together soon!

Stop.

A Long Overdue Adoption Update

By Ashley Wells, on April 19th, 2012

I’m learning that I am kind of a control freak {ok, maybe more than kind of}. This adoption process is a whole new level of faith testing and strengthening…and we aren’t even licensed yet!

I recently read that adoption is like putting Miracle-Gro on your sins. I guess that is why I have been craving margin and peace while turmoil is going on inside of my heart. My self-reliance is being torn down. To be honest, I have relied on myself for far too long. I am always trying to do something to ensure my life goes the way I’d like.

I can’t control this adoption process. I can’t rely on myself for the outcome. There is usually nothing I can do.

I am continually learning that I have to give things over to the Lord and trust that He knows what He is doing. even when I just don’t understand. I have not been able to do anything to speed up this part of the process. It has been out of my control. And sometimes, this drives me completely crazy.

If I could do something, then I would at least feel useful. Right?

We have been stuck in a limbo of sorts with our adoption process for almost two months. All of our paperwork has been turned in. Our case worker made it seem we would be licensed within a couple of weeks.

Then the hurdles started coming.

Other cases came in that had a higher priority. Our case had to be set aside for a time.

Our home study was completed. Then something happened to the digital file and there was no content in the document. It was gone.

We needed a closing letter from our county in Ohio.

The paper we need has been stuck in red tape and government “process” for almost three weeks now.

Today we finally caught a break! After three phone calls, I learned that finally the letter we were waiting on was sent to our case worker. All the pieces might be coming together, or at least it seems that way.

I’m trying not to get too excited, because we have had so many setbacks with this adoption already. However, I do have hope and excitement.

I know that for some reason, the Lord needed us to wait.

I know that our children are out there somewhere.

I know that in the Lord’s good and perfect time our children will come home. I’m praying that this will come quickly!

Here’s the lowdown from here:

We may be licensed sometime next week. We may get a placement any day after that.

It’s exciting. It seems to be coming together.

{I am so amazed at some of the long time readers who have been with us through almost all of our adoption journey thus far, over three years, and write to me words of encouragement. Thank you for sticking with us and trusting that the Lord has good plans for us that are for our future. Thank you for being willing to travel the lows and highs of this whole process. You have been a great support! You, my friends, will get a great sweet joy when the Lord brings our children home because your know our heart and where it has been and how long this journey has taken. I am humbled to have shared my grief and I will be honored to share my joy!}

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Updated at 2:07 pm

Isn’t it like the Lord to answer prayers in unexpected ways?

I had been putting off writing the above post for so long because I felt like we didn’t have an update. We were just waiting.

But with this glimmer of hope we received yesterday, I knew I wanted to write about it. As I scheduled the above post last night, I had no idea that I would need to add an update to our adoption journey so soon! But yet, here I am!

This morning our case worker called and told us that we are licensed. Praise the Lord.

While we wait for our permanent adoptive placement, we will be doing weekend respite care for other families. While our case worker called to tell us we were licensed, she also called to see if would be interested in doing respite THIS WEEKEND!

Praise the Lord!

Michael and I are so excited at the thought that our children could come home any day.

We are also excited that we are going to get to open our home and spend time with other children who are in desperate need of love and attention.

This is the end of the beginning and the beginning of the rest of our lives!

Craving Margin and Peace

By Ashley Wells, on April 16th, 2012

Without any intention of doing so, I took a blogging break.

Life has a way of forcing what you need sometimes, right?

My throat feels dry, it’s because I need water. My stomach grumbles, it’s because my body needs food to fuel me.

I needed rest and margin and time to seek peace from the only One who can give it overflowing.

Because I needed these things, so desperately, my desires to blog and write were gone. I had nothing to say. No words would come.

You know what? I really needed it more than anything.

I needed time away.

Time in the Word, deep.

Time to pray, without ceasing.

Time to be with the body and be encouraged.

I needed those margins in my life so that the Lord would work within me and give me a sense of abundant peace.

Lately, within me has been much turmoil, questioning, worry, unknown…if I would have allowed it, those feelings would have consumed me. I know because it’s happened before. It’s kind of my default…

Instead of allowing myself to swim in those overwhelming feelings, when my world was filling with unknowns and I had nothing in my control to do about it, I sought comfort from the One who knows what my future holds, even when it’s unclear to me.

I know where to find rest. I am reminded as a song comes on my Pandora station.

I’m restless. I’m restless.
’til I rest in You, ’til I rest in You.
Oh God, I wanna rest in You.

{click here to listen to the song by Audrey Assad}

I craved margin and peace because that it what I needed. I needed to rest in the arms of the One who can carry me.