Infertility :: Putting God First Place

A Letter to My Future Self — when I am a mom and have had a hard day

By Ashley Wells, on August 27th, 2012

I found this post sitting in my drafts from the end of April. Less than a week before we got the phone call that changed our life.

As I sit and wait for a phone call, I want my future self to remember a few things…

Hey there…you, the one who has had a hard day and just doesn’t know what to do–

Make some Tension Tamer tea, take a bath, and finish this letter.

I know today was hard. I’m sure you remember thinking it would be hard, grafting older children into your family, but it seems a lot hard than you thought, right? Especially after today?

Even still, here are some things you MUST remember:

This whole journey, including today, is part of God’s plan. He hasn’t brought these children into your life and left you to take care of them yourself. Please stop trying to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Cast your cares, fears, short-comings, and dreams over to God. He has all of this under control. You don’t have to try so hard.

This journey of adoption was God’s plan for you. He took you on the journey of infertility so that He could bring you to this journey with these children today. He has brought you and these children together for a reason, to form a family. You were created for each other for such a time as this. This is what the Lord has equipped you for and lead you to.

Motherhood is hard. Then think about adoptive mothering. There are going to be hard days like today. But, soak in your bath, go to bed a little early and wake up to a new day. Leave today behind and start new.

p.s. You can’t do any of this in your own strength, you must rely on the Giver of all good and perfect things to strengthen you and carry you through.

Get my E-Book FREE all this week on Amazon!

By Ashley Wells, on March 26th, 2012

That’s right!!!

My e-book, How My Soul Yearns, will be available on amazon for FREE through Friday!

So, make sure to snag it and pass on the word!

Tweet about my e-book by clicking here!

My prayer for this week is that the Lord will put this e-book into the hands of women that need to hear that they are not alone and it is possible to find hope in the midst of infertility! May He be glorified!

I was interviewed…

By Ashley Wells, on March 21st, 2012

That’s right!

I had the honor of taking part in a series of interviews sharing on the topic…

“Viewing the Quiverfull World Through the Lens of Infertility.”

You can read my interview at Pursing Titus 2.

How to Strengthen Your Marriage

By Ashley Wells, on November 7th, 2011

…even when struggling with infertility.

I have been on a journey of infertility for over five years. When my husband and I got married shortly after I graduated from high school, we knew it would be difficult conceiving. I had previous medical issues that resulted in learning that it would be nearly impossible to conceive or sustain life inside my body.

However, we were still hopeful, at least in the beginning. After three years of trying to conceive, at the age of 22, I found out that it would be impossible, without the direct miraculous intervention of God, for me to conceive and sustain life. I immediately felt broken. The six months I struggled greatly. Some days, I couldn’t get out of bed.

During this time, I allowed my struggles to separate me from God, my husband, and others close to me. I felt alone and isolated on my journey.

Click here to read the rest of this post at To Love, Honor, and Vacuum, Sheila Wray Gregoire‘s blog.

{I’ll post an adoption update tomorrow}

When Waiting Leaves You Feeling Empty

By Ashley Wells, on October 12th, 2011

Just a few days before, Michael and I had put together a crib and added “child” touches to a kid table with excitement.

My sister and niece had come for a visit, so it was perfect timing to put together one of our children’s rooms for our expectant arrivals.

Here I am now, my sister and niece are gone. I have the beds made again. I’m putting the room back together.

I’m putting away laundry and I happen upon an old children’s t-shirt, although it isn’t old at all. We have had it for a few years now, however, it has never been worn. It’s been waiting, just like us. Waiting and never filled with life inside the seams.

I walk into the empty room, waiting and ready for children, just like us. I take one of the child-sized hangers and hang this shirt in the closet, the empty closet filled with hangers alone. I leave the room with tears streaming down my face.

That’s what waiting does to me some days. Not only does it leave the shirt empty, and the room empty, but I am left feeling empty too. I walk around waiting for my anticipation to be filled. Waiting for my dreams to come to life. Waiting…

Does waiting leave you feeling empty too? Has waiting emptied things out of your life, making you feel like you’ve got nothing left. Nothing to give.

The enemy is working in your life right now stealing from you. Stealing your joy. Stealing your dream. Stealing your life.

He has come to kill and destroy. Right now, you may feel like Exhibit A.

On these days when I’m left empty and the enemy has taken, taken, taken…there is a promise I hold, more like cling to, for dear life.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. (John 10:10 ESV)

These are not only God inspired words. These words are written in red in my Bible. These words came from the very lips of Jesus Christ. They rolled off his tongue and now they hide away in my heart.

Here’s truth.

When the enemy has stolen from you and leaves you feeling empty…

Jesus wants to fill you up again.

He wants to give you life.

He not only wants to give you life,

but life abundantly.

Grab this truth today, in the waiting, in the trial, in the suffering. Grab it and don’t let it go!

Question for you:

What has the enemy stolen from your life? In spite of that, can you hold on to this truth and trust that Jesus can truly give you life again, abundantly?

This post is part of my 31 Days of Waiting series. Read all the posts in the series here.